|Card from Fireworks Gallery|
I've been married to Mr. Glossy Flossy for 35 years and yes I was 11 when I got married :) People have said that there is an ebb and flow to marriage. I don't say that, it's a nice analogy for some people's marriage but not mine. My marriage is like a fire. One day it's warming and relaxing, like sitting in front of a cozy fire making you all comfy and drowsy and the next day it's like the worst sunburn ever, burning, uncomfortable and needing to get over it!
An 80+ year old couple who had been married for over 60 years was asked how they had stayed married for so long. The wife said, "Luckily, we never fell out of love at the same time." That is the ebb and flow of everyone's marriage. Anyone who has ever been married knows that marriage is a lot of work. Sometimes you get tired of working at it and coast. Sometimes it seems that there is too much ebb in a marriage, that's when, if you're lucky, the other person is picking up the slack and working very hard at making it work.
Have you seen the saying on Pinterest that says: Marriage is like a deck of cards? In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade. The club and spade days are the burning fire days or the ebb but they don't have to be the end.
In honor of my anniversary and the upcoming wedding we have right around the corner; I came up with a list of things I wish someone had told me about being married:
- You can't always be right - WHAT??? But what if I am always right? What do you mean I'm not always right? That's a hard one for me and it's taken me 34 years, 11 months, 29 days to realize work on. Okay, that's a really, really hard one for me. Sometimes I am wrong, and mean, and bitchy. Thank goodness the Mr. is very patient with me.
- Sometimes you have decide to be wrong and end the argument because what you have is more important than "being right." There's no winning in arguing over something that isn't going to matter later and that you will not even remember what you're arguing about. The following is a true story and the names have not been changed. Mr. Glossy and I were arguing about something (I don't remember what) when mid-stream he started laughing and said "Do you really want to argue about this?" I started laughing too and no I didn't want to argue about it. This only works if it is something trivial, not something sacred like why did you throw out my 100 Taste of Home Magazines that I haven't looked at once in 5 years.
- Resist the urge to trash your spouses family. Our clan is the perfect family so we don't have this problem, but I've heard of it. Sometimes your family or his family are not very lovable, (just like sometimes you're not very lovable) but they are family, so resist the urge to go on and on and on and on about how they're not very lovable. After all we already know how our own families are. No need to be redundant!
are a team and the children are the enemy, albeit a very lovable and at times, adorable enemy.
Band together with your spouse and be a united front against them. Believe me if they see a chink in that united
front they will exploit it for their own
I would like to say that I've learned all those lessons and we have a perfect marriage but marriage is like my hair - I have good days and bad days. Sometimes it's just there - neither good or bad, sometimes it's scary bad and sometimes it's fantastic.
When things get rough I like to remember and be thankful that I've found that one special guy that I want to annoy for the rest of my life.
Happy Anniversary, Mr. Glossy Flossy.